Fear of the Phone?

I don't understand what it is with some men who can't stand to talk on the phone. Personally the phone is a vital tool in communication. The phone is necessary.

So why do men have such a hard time talking on one but can run off at the mouth in person?

Granted I know looking deep into someone's eyes might have a different effect, but just hearing the voice on the other end is enough for me. For most couples, you don't live together yet. So you want the occasional text message to see how the day is going and then a phone call before you go to sleep.

Not too much to ask?

I personally don't think so, but apparently it's like pulling teeth to get that. After a long day all I really want is to curl up in bed and talk to my boyfriend. I love seeing how his day was and our usual witty banter.

Well come to find out he hates the phone. Dilemma! I mean he is making the effort to get over the fear for me, which is completely appreciated. I mean really, completely appreciated. But c'mon there has to be a point where men get over the fear of the phone.

The phone can do wonders. You can send a quick message about dinner plans, or find out where you are meeting later, and then the one hour conversation time rolls around and they bail.

Is it the fear of the phone or fear of actually having to have conversation?

For me it's the fear of the awkward silence. I hate the silence sometimes. You hear, "oh you know you are in love when you can sit on the phone and not say anything at all." That's false. For me I need the phone conversations. Especially now that we are on summer break. We aren't together every day and going from that to nothing is a hard transition.

Men are complicated creatures. They like you. They want to date you. But they don't want to talk to you? What is that?

To me a good relationship relies on talking, conversation, communication. If you can't carry on a conversation without the fear then maybe it's time to re-evaluate.

Am I being overly harsh here? I mean I am a girl and I know what I like.

Do men have a fear of the phone or are they scared of the silence?

Mixing Work and Play?

Inter-office relationships can be tricky.

First there is the 'always keep things professional' policy.
Then there's the 'leave your problems at the door' policy.
And the always infamous 'don't bring your work home with you.'

But what happens, as to quote a popular TV show, when you meet you your personal life at work?

Many companies have a no dating rule for their employees, and so if that special someone is at the work place secrecy is your only option.

I guess the bigger question is should companies be allowed to say who you can or cannot date?

To me, finding the balance between personal and professional is the most difficult part.
Acting like you aren't with your co-worker isn't the easiest thing to hide, even when no one knows about it.

People can tell. You give off that glow. You know the one I mean.
Your partner walks by, you give the sly grin, all the while thinking I know something these people don't.

But the problem is 99% of the time they do.

So is it inappropriate?

My personal opinion is if you can do your job well, without any distraction, and keep your personal life out of the office, why not? There is nothing like finding a compliment to yourself, no matter where you are. Finding someone you care about it is hard enough. Factoring in co-workers, bosses, and your job only adds to the ever-accumulating hurdle.

Let's assume you did find your partner at work. Keeping it professional is not optional, it's a must. Doing your job effectively even when your partner is staring at you from across the room is not optional.

There is always a line at the workplace because too much PDA could make your co-workers feel uncomfortable. Like I mentioned earlier, it's all about balance. If you can find it, then most people won't object and you can keep both people happy: your partner and your boss.

But I want to know what you think.

Is it wrong to date someone you work with? Do you trust your gut feeling or 'what if' the situation? And if you do choose to play with an associate, should it be kept a secret?

Can you mix work and play?

Graduating from College Relationships?

With graduation inching ever closer, the thought of your future, both career and relationship wise, has to be in your thoughts.

Finding your partner in college is fun and exciting, along with being able to see each other grow as people. Being there for that journey brings anyone closer together, and really shows you what the future holds between the two of you.


That is until you near graduation and realize that you both want to live in different cities, whether by choice or because of where the job lies. For example, if you want to pursue journalism the natural choice is New York or L.A., and if your partner wants to argriculture then the choice would be farmland in the Mid-west or farther south.

What then?


How do you decide who sacrifices their dream? Do you decide to try long-distance dating so you can both do what you want?

Sacrificing should never be an option, because making one person give up their dreams means there's no equality in the relationship. There has to be equality between both people, because having your partner sacrifice what they want will lead to resentment in the future.

There will always be that 'what if I had done this?' There has to be a happy medium between finding a way to maintain your relationship and having the career you've always dreamed of.

For some people, they don't mind following their partner, and all will be fine. But for most having a career is very important. I could be wrong, but to me sacrificing my job is not an option. I have worked so hard and so long to achieve my career goals that I won't give it up.

What do you think? Are you so invested in your relationship that you are willing to give up your career?


The process of deciding your future is hard enough without worrying about how you can maintain your career and your relationship.


Supporting each other is a part of the relationship that proves your committment. Being able to let your significant other have the career he or she dreams of shows just how much you want them to succeed. At the same time, you feel guilty because underneath all the fluff and support, you want them with you.


So what do you do? How do couples handle this situation?

Do you graduate with or without them?

All fun and no work?

College is a once in a lifetime experience that generally you get one shot at. With so many new people and experiences waiting it's no surprise when you see different sides to friends you've known for years or see things that catch you off guard.

That applies to meeting people socially too. Most parties at JMU have some form of music so everyone is dancing at some point in the night. Whether you are good at dancing or horrible, here it doesn't matter. Joining in allows you to lose the nerves and meet some cool people, and a few not so cool, just by doing swaying back and forth to the beat.

No one judges peoples' dancing because no one is really that good at it. You work off your partner and find the rythem. For some that leads to an opportunity to make a new friend.

I have met many new friends just by joining the huge masses of people dancing and having a good time. That's the best part of it. Everyone is just there to have a good time, so there is no pressure. It's relaxed and easy.

Is it wrong to start something with someone you had a dance with? My opinion is why not? If you live in the bubble that you have to have the perfect story to tell your grandkids you need to wake up. We all don't have those stories and you have to find that special somehow.

I don't think it's trashy to pick someone up while dancing, because dancing is supposed to be fun. Meeting a new beau is supposed to be fun too. Why not connect the two?

Now my advice is not to go grind all over someone and expect that to be attractive to the boys you want to keep around. My advice is to work your way onto the dance floor and subtly spot someone you're attracted to. Give him the look and start dancing!

Espicially here, JMU boys have never had a problem coming up to dance with a girl. Most girls aren't shy about it either. That's because there is that laid-back attitude, because it's the weekend and you aren't thinking about school or what you have to do tomorrow, you are thinking about tonight. It's all about what happens tonight. Overanalyzing the situation will ultimately ruin what could have been.

My advice is if your single, go mingle!

Thoughts?

Does Distance Make the Heart Grow Fonder?

Long distance relationships are full of complications. There is the never seeing each other, the five second phone calls 100 times a day and the costs of having to travel to one another.

With high phone bills and stress from school, it's hard to maintain the kind of relationship that most people want. Staying connected is the hardest part, because you are at two different places with two different lives. There are two sets of friends, different assignments due on different weeks and going out and trying to meet new people without losing the trust of your partner.

So how do you find a happy medium? Most would say it is all about trust, but I think you have to take that one step further. The key is keeping the spark alive, you know that spark that makes you think you don't want to even look in the direction of someone else.

What happens when that spark dies? How long do you try to fight it to avoid the inevitable?

From my past experience things take a turn for the worse when it's been a while since you have seen each other and aren't able to work things out face to face. Accusations fly and things spiral out of control.

With my relationship, I did things I wasn't proud of and so did he, but a part of that was adjusting to college. Granted that isn't an excuse, but adjusting to life without rules or guidelines takes a little bit. Having freedom to do what you want when you want is something that most people find overwhelming, and you grow from those experiences. I grew in a direction that led me away from my boyfriend. Lesson learned.

Things happen for a reason, and I believe we aren't together now for a reason. Part of that was the distance. Going from seeing each other every day to once every other month was more than an adjustment, it altered from the routine I got accustomed to.

I don't think long distance relationships work, but I want your opinions.

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but distance is distance. It's the empty space between you and the person you love. More often than not, the space continues to grow until it's too big to fix.

Does distance make you closer or do you run in the wide open spaces?

Is it the alcohol talking?

People turn to alcohol for all different reasons. It could be to help them dance with some rhythm, loosen up so they can socialize at parties, or to help people be able to talk to that secret crush or that attractive person across the room.

However, if you are on the receiving end of what alcohol made that person do then how do you know if it's really them talking or the alcohol?

People say that what you say when you are intoxicated is really the truth you would be too scared to say sober. Others wake up the next morning apologizing for something they said or did and knowing that wasn't really them. So how do you judge the truth from the alcohol? Is there really even a way?

People believe that alcohol reduces those fears of social interaction enough for you to make new friends or even take the next step with someone you like, but is there any truth to that?

Alcohol can change things in friendships and relationships just by not being able to control what you say when you say it. It is said that the drug takes away your reason and sensibility so you just go for it instead of thinking it through. There are many people that live their life that way and love it, and there are some that wish they could, but don't. So is it really a bad thing to throw inhibition to the wind and if all else fails blame it on the amount you had to drink?

Having said that I need opinions from all of you experiencing this dilemma, do you trust the alcohol?

Interstate Dating: New Form of Meeting People?

Good news everyone, there is now another way to meet people that doesn't involve the Internet, alcohol or even formal introductions.

There's interstate dating.

My roommates and I were traveling back from our spring break in Florida when a mini-van of college-aged guys pulled up beside us and the one in the front passenger seat leaned out the window to get a look at us.

Granted, my roommate, who was also the driver, thought he was trying to tell her she had a flat tire, but a gesture is a gesture.

Anyway, once we figured out what he was doing we giggled that cute coy little laugh which probably helped egg them on. So he turns around for a minute and then looks back at us and starts flexing and has his number written on his arm. Now I had to give him props for being especially creative in flirting with us as we were driving 75 miles an hour down the interstate.

My friends and I wanted to know if the number was legitimate so we texted it and sure enough a friendship was born. While we didn't know if this guy was a serial killer or not, we figured he and his friends were worth a shot.

Turns out, they go to school in Pennsylvania, are on a tennis team, and were returning from their spring break as well. Needless to say, they livened up the drive and we continued to talk with them throughout the rest of the journey home.

Fortunately, they turned out to be really nice guys who were just looking to meet some really nice girls.

So is it wrong to start something up with someone you have never met face to face yet was courageous enough to give you their number? Or was it dumb luck that these guys were not serial killers using the flex tactic to try and get our information?

Fearless flirtatious fun or recklessly risky?